Serenity, Courage and Wisdom
by Theralion
Summary: Naruto visits Neji in the hospital in the days after the failed attempt to retrieve Sasuke, and they discuss the things one cannot change and the things one can.


**Serenity, Courage and Wisdom**

Neji lay in his hospital bed and looked out the window, at the birds flying through the sky. The scene he was in seemed familiar to him, like the time he had been in the infirmary after his loss to Naruto in the Chunin Exam finals. This time, he had defeated Kidomaru, but in the process, sustained injuries that had nearly killed him.

That battle had been a new experience for him. While he was, of all his team team, a unit hand-picked by Shikamaru for the purpose of bringing Sasuke back to the village, the best suited to facing Kidomaru, he was still at a severe disadvantage for much of the fight, in stark contrast to most of his battles, which had been against opponents he had been sure he would defeat. Throughout most of the encounter, he had been on the defensive, attempting to avoid his attacks and prevent the ones that got through from inflicting fatal injuries. He felt the same sense of desperation Lee, Hinata and Naruto had when facing him in the past, but had managed to triumph despite it.

But while he had won the battle, it was only one part of the wider struggle to prevent Sasuke from being spirited over the border by the Sound Ninja Four. Neji, injured and on the brink of death, was powerless to do anything to affect the final outcome as the remaining members were forced into combat with the other Sound ninjas, injured, and left unable to continue the pursuit. In the end, Naruto and Sasuke clashed at Final Valley, and Naruto failed to defeat Sasuke, much less persuade him to abandon his desire to desert the Leaf Village.

Neji did not hold the mission's outcome against Naruto or any of their other teammates or allies, since he recognized that no one event or cause determined the end result. The task before them had always been difficult, and several things had gone wrong at critical points. Was it possible that the mission had been hopeless from the start? Neji could not say for certain.

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on his door.

"Come in," Neji said.

"Hey, Neji, I heard you were awake," Naruto said, as he opened the door and stepped in. "So I wanted to drop by and check on you."

"Good to see you're up and walking, Naruto," Neji said. Although disappointed to hear about the results of the mission, he was relieved to hear that the rest of the team had survived.

A few seconds of awkward silence passed as they both struggled over how to talk about what they both knew to be true.

"They told me… what happened on the mission, after you, Shikamaru and Kiba pursued the remaining two members of the Sound Four." Neji said.

"Well, depending on how you count, it's either three or four," Naruto said. "Kiba had two opponents, and there's that Kimimaro guy Lee and Gaara fought while I pursued Sasuke."

"Ah, yes," Neji said, remembering that Ukon had detached himself from his brother Sakon and taken Shikamaru by surprise, but only understanding the trick after some reflection and a talk with Shikamaru.

"But let's get down to the point," Naruto said. "I'm sorry I couldn't bring Sasuke back. It feels like I let everyone else down, especially you and Choji, who almost ended up giving your lives for the mission."

"Choji and I had our own personal reasons for participating," Neji said. "For Choji, it was simply out of loyalty to Shikamaru and a desire to repay him for the faith he had in him, when everyone else judged him by... his girth, or wrote him off as a second-rate ninja. For me, it's about another personal matter, namely what you did for me in the Chunin Exam."

"What I did _for_ you?" Naruto said, incredulous at the idea of how he could have helped Neji out by defeating him. "Oh, was it that time I talked to you about destiny?"

"It certainly was," Neji said.

"You just happened to hit my biggest pet peeve," Naruto said. "The one thing that pisses me off most of all is the idea that things are static and unchanging- especially the bad parts of one's life. I've always been treated as an outcast, a freak and a loser, and the only thing that kept me going is the idea that things didn't have to be this way. I set my sights on being Hokage since it seemed like the best route out of where I was. Come to think of it, Hinata and Bushy-brows had similar ideas, and maybe so did you."

"You have that correct," Neji said. "Lee has always trained hard, for the belief that he, a ninja without the ability to use ninjutsu or genjutsu, can surpass a 'genius' through hard work alone. When he was told he couldn't use his chakra coils, he first tried harder than anyone else would to remedy that problem, then put all his efforts on becoming a splendid ninja in spite of it. Hinata-sama's commitment to this is more recent, but after you cheered for her, she started to believe in herself and become more determined. And as for me…" Neji paused a moment. "Do you remember the thing you and Hinata-sama both told me?"

"That you didn't really accept your destiny as a branch house member?" Naruto said. Neji nodded.

"For the longest time, I saw my life as a pitiful and meaningless one," Neji said. "I was forced to become strong for the sake of the main family, rather thanfor any reasons of my own. I would live as long as the main family had use for me, and would throw my life away for them on their command. From when I had been born, I had been raised to believe that it was my destiny, my duty and my lot in life to be a tool for the main family. But when I stopped to think about it and asked myself- 'Is this all there is to my life?' I found I couldn't accept it."

"Living as a tool…" Naruto said, recalling his final battle with Zabuza and Haku, and how the seemingly emotionless killer Zabuza shed tears over the loss of his companion. "Nobody, and I mean _nobody_ can do that, even people far colder and far more ruthless than you."

"Exactly," Neji said. "But the cursed seal, as I mentioned earlier, presented another problem. Even if I become strong enough to defeat Hiashi-sama in single combat- no small task considering his skills are roughly equivalent to those of a Jonin- he or any other main house member could, with a single hand gesture, incapacitate or kill me the instant they detected anything that _seemed_ like hostile intent from me. I witnessed incidents that reminded me of this advantage the main house has over us early and often."

"But Hinata wouldn't do such a thing; she's just too kind to deliberately cause pain to a family member to put them in their place," Naruto said. "Surely you would know that even better than I do."

"Yes, even back then, I knew that," Neji said. "And yet, I also saw that compassion as weakness for a ninja, and also found it insulting that someone as weak as Hinata-sama was destined to become my mistress, simply because she was lucky enough to be born as the eldest daughter of the head family. But I was wrong. She and you, as well as Lee, worked to change your destinies, but what about me? I hated my destiny of service and sacrifice for the main family, but did nothing about it."

"But with the curse mark on your forehead, what _can_ you do?" Naruto said. He still believed that what Neji had said did not justify his grudge against Hinata, who had done nothing to deserve it. But having had time to reflect on Neji's words, Naruto had to consider what it was like to have the curse mark. "I mean, doesn't everything you said about your situation as a branch house member until now still apply?"

"For the most part, it does," Neji said. "I still have the curse mark on my head until I die, and the head family can activate it for any- or no- reason. I can never inherit leadership of the clan no matter how skilled I become. I am still compelled to respect, obey and if necessary, lay down my life for the main house members. Since you defeated me, nothing about my situation within the clan has changed." Naruto noticed that even in spite of Neji's grim statements, there was no despair in his voice. "And in spite of all that, things no longer feel as hopeless as before," he concluded with a smile.

"How so?" Naruto said.

"I heard the story of my father's death from a different perspective; what I told you back then is true, but not the whole truth," Neji said. "He did not give his life because the main family ordered him to- in fact, Hiashi-sama was willing to die instead- but for the sake of his brother, his family and his village. And Hiashi-sama said he wanted to tell me this not as head of the clan, but as my uncle. Perhaps the Hyuga clan itself may be shifting, remembering that it is a family. And I wish to do what I can to help that happen."

Naruto gave a wistful smile as he heard what Neji talked about. Before, the Hyuga clan had seemed to be the kind of family that made him feel fortunate, in a sense, to be an orphan, to be free of all the expectations, pressures and bonds that were involved in such a clan. But Neji spoke of the concept of family- a group of individuals with bonds of blood and deeper ones of family, the sort that Naruto had always wanted.

Perhaps there was hope for the Hyuga clan. Perhaps Neji would, someday, no longer be viewed as a mere expendable pawn or slave without any will or rights of his own.

"I told you this story for a few reasons, Naruto," Neji said. "There are some things that you cannot change. Some outcomes are inevitable, while others are impossible. However, you can only find out which are which if you put an effort toward trying to change your own circumstances and achieve your dreams. I was destined to be a branch house member from the moment I was born to someone already in the branch family. But where will my life go from here and how will it end? Will I drift along like a stick down a river, or sail down the river and decide which route to follow? Will I resignedly accept the end of my life, or give it for the sake of someone or something important to me? That's largely influenced by my actions and my decisions. You have your own circumstances that were predetermined, but you also have your own decisions to make and your own destiny to shape."

Naruto thought for a moment. He had, since the moment he was born, been host to the Nine-tailed Fox. He had been ostracized for a long time because of that. The fox had limited his chakra control, hindering his ability to perform jutsus and with it, his performance as a ninja. But now, he was starting to make the fox's power his own, and was beginning the process of going from a weakling shunned and held back by what was inside him to a ninja who turned his curse into his gift.

"Thanks, Neji," Naruto said. "Despite that, it feels like I've got a long way to go to get Sasuke back and defeat the Akatsuki."

"No undertaking of importance to us is ever easy," Neji said. "But when things get difficult, whenever you question whether you can accomplish your goal, think for a moment and ask yourself- do you really want to give up on that? Are you willing to live without that which you seek? Are you fine with things the way they are? Is giving up fair to those who are counting on you? If the answer is no, then that's all the reason you need to keep trying."

"I will," Naruto said. He exchanged goodbyes with Neji before leaving his room.

The path toward his goals- becoming Hokage, defeating the Akatsuki and saving Sasuke, as well as gaining the strength necessary to do all of them, was a long one ahead of him. But Naruto had both the gifts and the will to maximize their potential, and was willing to go as far as he needed. And through speaking with Neji, he realized how much people could change.

_"Neji might still be a servant to his clan, but he freed himself from the burden of resentment, despair, hatred and his other negative emotions,"_ Naruto said. _"Sasuke, I hope you can do the same."_

* * *

**Author's Note**

Thank you for reading this fic.

This was written in large part in response to fan complaints that Naruto's inherited gifts are proof that the "Screw Destiny" Aesop is faulty. To that, I have two points; 1)Naruto had to work to maximize the use of what he had in store with him, namely, getting the Nine-tailed Fox to provide him chakra, first to ensure their mutual survival, then as a willing ally. 2) Neji himself concedes in his internal monologue after learning the truth about his father's death that not everything can change. In his case, he is and always will be a branch house member, but he can decide whether he reluctantly accepts it or decides to do something constructive.

This was also written to depict Neji's change of heart regarding fate, and how he feels looking back on his past actions and worldview. He has not forgotten why he acted the way he did, but now realizes that such behavior could not have benefited him.

Neji also points out at the end of the fight with Kidomaru that even if Sasuke willingly accepted Orochimaru, he believes that Naruto has the power to save Sasuke from the darkness, like he did for Neji, hence Naruto's final thoughts.

Naruto's attitude regarding the fox is a result of this taking place before the four-tailed release against Jiraiya, the four-tailed release against Orochimaru, and the near-breakdown of the seal after Pain wounded Hinata; at this point at the end of Part 1, he's not scared of the seal breaking or the fox harming his allies.

The title comes from "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and wisdom always to tell the difference," something I felt fit with this fic dealing with what is inevitable, what is impossible, and what is neither.


End file.
